Today was for Gray. It's hard for me to describe what I feel when I
dedicate a day to someone, so I'll just simplify it to the nth degree
and say it is overwhelmingly special.
We had an interesting
start to our day as we were late getting started and fell behind all of
the SAG vehicles that leave last. We got caught by every single red
light getting off of Emory's campus and then we got stopped by a train
that went on and on and on. The idea of being the ride's caboose was
sealed within the first 15 minutes!
It was supposed to rain
on us today but the conditions were actually perfect and not a drop feel
on us. Someone told me years ago that friends in heaven get to paint
the daily sunsets and you'll always know if one of your loved ones was
involved. You'll see their colors or their style. With a 60% chance of
rain and not a drop, I can't help but wonder if Gray was up there
saying "Hey, not on my day!" So, thank you, Gray!
The route
was great this year and we saw lots of Georgia countryside beauty. I
was thankful for cycling buddies Stephen Frangis, Cindy Tanner and
Felicia Bianchi as we kept each other company for various parts of the
route. Stephen and I rode the full 100 miles together and I appreciate
him more than I can describe. In the end, the official caboose was
escorted in by our team mate Chip and that was perfect. He played some
good 'ole rock and roll to keep us pedaling for the last 10 miles or so.
We started out around 7:45 and arrived at Rock Eagle at about 5:15 - so
it was a full day. Lots of time to reflect, to pray and to think. On
the route we saw a lone Canadian goose with a broken wing which made me
sad. I've never prayed for a Canadian goose before today! There was a
group of cows who stared at us pedal by with a look that told us we were
weird looking cows. I thought mostly about Gray and the stories his
friends shared with me. At the end of the evening, a close friend of
Gray's came up to me to introduce himself and thank me for dedicating
today to Gray. I told him that Gray got me to the finish line as I was
ready to throw in the towel on 3 different times. He told me more about
Gray and I was so reminded about how little things matter so much and
we really should "sweat the small stuff." He was loved for his sweet
spirit, his love of sharing good meals with friends, his ability to
organize a tupperware cabinet (a huge talent in my book!), and all those
little things. His friend then made a profound statement - "There's no
telling what Gray could have done." Once again, we were robbed of by
AIDS. But today - I was not robbed. I was inspired to pay more
attention to those little things that matter - except for perhaps the
tupperware talent because I'm hopeless in that category!
Thank
you, Gray. I honestly don't know what else to say as it is obvious that
no other words would adequately describe the positive ripple effect of
your life on us.
Yes, today was for Gray. To his friends, I
hope you will raise a glass and celebrate him in whatever way he
deserves in your life.
I
have heard that the points of highest stress for NASCAR drivers is not
while they are moving at ridiculously fast speeds but, instead, while
they are sitting in the pit. I believe it!
Today is Pit Day
for me and all of my AV200 friends. While in the pit, we start
wondering what possessed us to commit to riding 200 miles on a bicycle.
We start wondering if we did enough on the fundraising front. We think
about the people we are riding to help and feel like there's no way to
do enough. We kick ourselves for eating those coconut cakes, cinnamon
roles and Girl Scout cookies (but only for a second!) We wonder if
we'll make it.
Today is also my birthday. My friends and
colleagues know that I LOVE birthdays, celebrate them for at least a
month and don't mind telling you it is my birthday. Unlike my
Grandmama, who used to make up an age and even confused her doctors, I
see each birthday as another milestone in life. My other Granny was a
wedding cake caterer and made magical birthday cakes representing my
theme for the year. She never questioned my choices from Cinderella to
Cowboys and Indians and various things in between. Each birthday is a
gift and perhaps sometimes even a symbol of surviving another year.
Personally, I will take each one I get and be happy.
On my birthday, I also remember friends and family who hit the end of
the birthday runs way before I wanted them too. Like most of you, I
have felt the pain of losing people way too soon - from cancer, from car
accidents, from suicide, from heart failures, from AIDS and various
other ending battles. As I sit in this Birthday/Pit Day Friday, my
engine gets revved up for one of those groups. Dang it - we're going to
find a vaccine for AIDS or at least go out swinging.
Tomorrow, I will ride for Gray. I never met him but feel like I did.
His birthdays ended a few years ago. It might not have if access to
medications had been an easier route. That makes me sad. That makes me
mad. That makes me ride. I will not be riding at a NASCAR pace by any
means - but I'll be happy and comfortable bringing up the rear in the
caboose section and sponsoring a Gray party for any other riders who
wish to join me!
Happy Birthday, everyone, on whatever day is yours!!
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