Dwayne Carl and My Friend, R

ALC Ride Reflection 1: Every morning and every evening of the ride provided educational stats and stories to stretch our minds. Stigma was a big topic. One story of a fellow rider took my original mission to a deeper level. His name is Dwayne Carl, 48, from Redondo Beach. During his 10 years with HIV, he has also had to deal with discrimination. Many of his friends and family members rejected him. He was fired because of his HIV positive status and had to fight eviction from his apartment. Dwayne went from an 8 T-cell count and neuropathy at the point of his diagnosis to riding along side of me for the long trek from SF to LA. He is also fighting the HIV stigma by self-publishing a book, Out of my Second Closet, about his experience.

Nelson Mandela lost his son to AIDS and encour

ages talking about HIV/AIDS so that "people will stop regarding it as something extraordinary." Interesting way to put it.

If you recall from my first posting, I initially started this because of a friend living with HIV in silence. I tried to think of the perfect day to ride for him. As I rode in the cold rain last Monday, with tiny water beads stinging my face and mud being splashed on me from the big trucks on the route - I knew that was the day for my friend "R". This was the only day I worried about my safety - as I wondered if the raging big rigs next to me could even see me.

If the positive example that each of us can achieve (I've seen it so I know it can) - can allow my friend and others be able to say "I am HIV positive" in a world that WE have made safe for this courage, then we will be opening a lot of second closets and encouraging many to get the help they need. So my ongoing reflection for my future will be something like "How safe is my world for others?". I pray I will recognize when I become a big rig splashing mud and slow down to allow someone to feel safe and cared for in their battle with HIV.

As far as stigma - God help us. No one should have to hide their HIV status, but I realize from a practical sense that, yes, today most still do.

To my Monday honoree, R, I hope you felt the warmth of the garbage bags and mylar in the midst of the cold.

AIDS LifeCycle 2012 - Finish Line!

I made it! So we are 660.2 miles complete on this journey. In mid-August, I'll be back on the AIDS vaccine track with a ride from Burlington, VT to Portland, Maine. This has been an important week in many ways and if you're willing to keep tracking, I'll keep sharing. For tonight, I am simply thankful for good health and will never take this for granted again. I'm also thankful for electricity that refuels my crackberry and a nice soft bed with no spiders and a ceiling that doesn't puff up with every wind. I missed my Saint Mark Cycling friends terribly on the long roads but training with them really got me through these miles. I am thankful for your prayers of safety as not everyone on the ride survived without a broken bone or two. I'm just tired but will bounce back quickly, I'm sure. It will be nice not to sit on a saddle for a few days!

Our work is not done - we are just getting cranked up. But together, we will make a difference.

When I get home, I'll start sharing some of these experiences with hopes they keep us moving for the people who are counting on us. Every day was special as I was able to reflect on the stories you have shared. For those special lives, we can't stop now!!
Peace and thanks to all!

My First Red Dress Day - AIDS LifeCycle

Thanks, everyone, for the warm wishes you've posted as they mean a lot and have really helped me today. I'm pretty beat but will keep pedaling! Today, I am enjoying Red Dress Day. Some of us have been reflecting on how much creativity has been stolen from the world by AIDS. The community we've formed really is a glimpse of how wonderful the world could be - as we have left our social statuses, titles, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and all the other things that seem to drive politics today - they have all been overcome. We are just taking care of each other.

I have some interesting Red Dress Day photos - some of which I will share here later and others on the Cycling Club site :)

My favorite chuckle today came when a team of riders had a group member pull over. The others were asking "what's up?" - expecting to hear flat tire or something. The response: "I spilt Gatorade on my dress!"

So much to share and not nearly enough battery. Please pray for me tomorrow and Saturday. 80+ miles tomorrow on my sore "you know what" is not going to be pleasant. I'm thankful to have your stories and thoughts as well as the knowledge that Carol will be on a Delta flight to meet me at the finish line! 150 miles to LA!

Rod

Ride Day 4 - AIDS Lifecycle - June 4, 2012 - Dedicated to "Rod"

On June 4th, we will be riding from Santa Cruz to King City. This will be a long route day of 109.2 miles. This will be my longest stretch ever and will top the 107 miles on Day 1 of the AV200. I plan to ride for Rod on this day, and his sponsor is a dear friend from Saint Mark.

My friend's introduction to Rod: Rod was a long time neighbor and close friend when I lived in Virginia Highland. He lived for many years with HIV. He was the Personnel Director at an Atlanta hospital. He was probably the most talented person I have ever known. He was truly the Renaissance Man. He could cook, garden, decorate houses, play the piano, sing, arrange flowers, be a father, build things, had excellent taste in everything, host won

derful parties, was a good friend to many people, a good son and brother to his family. He and his partner moved to New York City where he renovated a beautiful home in the Hell's Kitchen neighborhood on West
46th Street. They were gracious hosts when friends and family visited NYC.
He was a soloist in churches and the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, he has a beautiful daughter, Rachel, and I'll never forget his Amaretto cheesecake. He was born in January 1950. He was 53, I think, when he died in NYC. He died much too
young. He will always be missed by many people. He would be a friend to you and you would love him as so many did. He lived his life to the fullest. Thanks for honoring him this way.

In all of these stories, it's always the little traits that we think aren't important that are remembered - meaning, of course, that our "little things" are huge. During this route, we will have a chance to stop by the Soledad Mission where we can reflect on The Ride’s purpose and sign their altar cloth. There's also something about a Cookie Lady - perhaps the closest I can get to amaretto cheesecake. Seems like a fitting date to raise a glass in honor of Rod. I hope maybe we all can share a meal with someone we admire on Monday - a community toast to Rod!

G.B.

Ride Day 3 - AIDS LifeCycle - June 3, 2012 - Dedicated to "GB"

Yes, I skipped Day 2 from last weekend and hope to bring you that one soon. Also, yes, I'm not there yet but since I'm not sure how much writing I'll be doing on the road although I will be thinking quite a bit. Next Sunday, we'll head out from the Cow Palace in San Franciso and travel 82.5 miles to Santa Cruz. It's going to be an exciting and fun day - full of sunshine - much like "G".

A close friend and colleague shared the following about GB:

"GB" was very creative. Any type of design, flower-arranging, interior and even art. He would take old wood, doors, planks and then layer paint on them in various designs. He loved cats! Was a great cook, the best chicken and dumplings I have ever had! He was super funny and simply full of life. Super neat and well-organized, I never open my Tupperware cabinet without thinking of him. He was at my house for a dinner and opened that cabinet. Once he saw that my lids were not aligned with the matching container, he dumped it all out and organized it for me. His closets were amazing! Works of art.

He died November 27 and it was not pretty. Three years ago, he moved out of Atlanta for a job that fell through pretty quickly. He stayed in Texas for a year with no health insurance and no meds. He moved back to Atlanta and AID Atlanta provided meds and his numbers improved, but unfortunately, it must have progressed too far for meds to help. It was really hard to watch him progressively disappear.

If G were riding with you or beside you, he would be saying “You Go, Girl!!” and probably singing something Madonna or Britney Spears. When my friend called to tell me that he had passed away, we were traveling on Thanksgiving weekend. I hung up the phone and the first song to come on was Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me”. First line, “I can’t light no more of your darkness”. He was a light, a full blown nut that would always cheer you up, so he would be a great cheerleader, making you laugh and push through.

From a personal note, perhaps G was speaking to all of us through Sir Elton. Since I'm a HUGE Elton fan, I had to pull the video myself to remind me of the words. He goes on to say "I'd allow just a fragment of your life to wander free . . . " and "Losing everything would be like the sun going down on me." This wonderful tribute from G's friend shows that the sun hasn't gone down yet - his torch of life still shines. So next Sunday, in the warmth of the California sun, I'll be "singing" my best version of this song.

We miss you, G . . . this sun's for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQfhQvj724g
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Elton John
www.youtube.com
Don't let the sun go down on me by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

ALC Cheers - from Carol

Hooray for all of those who rode today and for all the volunteers who helped them. They raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for AIDS vaccine research and were remembering the ones who did not get it in time with every stroke of their pedals.

Hooray for those dedicated persons doing the research to find a cure. Their commitment and undaunted perseverence keeps hope alive.

And for those who have lost loved ones, lost their health, or live with fear about this disease, this effort is for you. Be of good courage and take heart.

AIDS Care - from a Chaplain

Tonight I'm missing Belva but so very proud of her and what she is doing. It certainly will be a significant lifetime event for her.

Back in the late 80's and early 90's when I was a hospital chaplain I ministered to a number of people dying from AIDS. One patient (I'll call him Dave) I especially remember at Crawford Long came in one night with a raging case of pneumocystis. He had just returned from a trip to Europe with his mother which both enjoyed immensely. It was immediately apparent that he was in critical condition. Dave had converted from HIV positive to full blown AIDS. In the hospital that night were his mother, younger brother, ex-wife, partner, friends from the hair salon where he worked, and a number of other family members and friends. They were all devastated. Some obviously did not know he was positive, others seemed to be finally grapling with the fact that he was gay. Among those gathered in their common concern some were strangers to each other. But they put aside whatever differences they may have had with each other and wept as they prayed for Dave. He was a young man in the prime of his life. It sounded like he had just begun to live. Dave died a few days later. AIDS deaths in those days were agony. Though I wasn't able to know Dave as I would have liked, I will neve forget him. In the end he was surrounded by love.