Birthdays

I have heard that the points of highest stress for NASCAR drivers is not while they are moving at ridiculously fast speeds but, instead, while they are sitting in the pit. I believe it!

Today is Pit Day for me and all of my AV200 friends. While in the pit, we start wondering what possessed us to commit to riding 200 miles on a bicycle. We start wondering if we did enough on the fundraising front. We think about the people we are riding to help and feel like there's no way to do enough. We kick ourselves for eating those coconut cakes, cinnamon roles and Girl Scout cookies (but only for a second!) We wonder if we'll make it.

Today is also my birthday. My friends and colleagues know that I LOVE birthdays, celebrate them for at least a month and don't mind telling you it is my birthday. Unlike my Grandmama, who used to make up an age and even confused her doctors, I see each birthday as another milestone in life. My other Granny was a wedding cake caterer and made magical birthday cakes representing my theme for the year. She never questioned my choices from Cinderella to Cowboys and Indians and various things in between. Each birthday is a gift and perhaps sometimes even a symbol of surviving another year. Personally, I will take each one I get and be happy. 

On my birthday, I also remember friends and family who hit the end of the birthday runs way before I wanted them too. Like most of you, I have felt the pain of losing people way too soon - from cancer, from car accidents, from suicide, from heart failures, from AIDS and various other ending battles. As I sit in this Birthday/Pit Day Friday, my engine gets revved up for one of those groups. Dang it - we're going to find a vaccine for AIDS or at least go out swinging.

Tomorrow, I will ride for Gray. I never met him but feel like I did. His birthdays ended a few years ago. It might not have if access to medications had been an easier route. That makes me sad. That makes me mad. That makes me ride. I will not be riding at a NASCAR pace by any means - but I'll be happy and comfortable bringing up the rear in the caboose section and sponsoring a Gray party for any other riders who wish to join me!

Happy Birthday, everyone, on whatever day is yours!!

Peace

What a week. Was there any emotion not touched since Monday? As I watched the horror of the Boston Marathon, my mind flashed back to my glorious ride into LA on the last day of the AIDS LifeCycle last year. I wanted my best friend at the finish line, so I paid for a first class seat on Delta to bring Carol to LA to celebrate with me. It never entered my mind that someone would even think about turning such a wonderful triumph into a tragedy. Riding into the final mile, people lined the streets along the route. They cheered for us, called us heroes, gave us Tootsie Rolls and made it so special. Carol had stationed herself behind the "cheerleaders" at the finish line. Among the masses, I could not see her but I knew she was there. What an awesome day.

My heart went out to the athletes in Boston, many who found their friends and loved ones dead or severely injured at the finish line by the choice of two young people. I was stunned and found myself just staring at the awful images - not able to say a word. What was there to say? I turned to Facebook - something we didn't have back in 2001 when the World Trade Center tragedy occurred. I have friends - fellow AIDS fighters, staff at Boston University and Tufts and others - in Boston. I felt relief as they checked in via FB or email to let us know they were okay.

I kept hearing my mother's words in my teenage ears - "99% of the people in the world are good - but sometimes we focus too much on the 1% who are not." I received a few phone calls from friends and colleagues asking if I still planned to ride in the AIDS LifeCycle this year. It had never entered my mind not to ride - and I was surprised at how firm I was in my response - "Hell, yes, I'm riding - why wouldn't I?"

In the past week, we have seen the worst of humanity and the best of humanity. As awful as the bombings were, the response of the people made it clear - 99% is stronger than 1%. Thanks, Mom, for teaching me that.

I always find solace in music and in the words of children and today is no exception. As 8-year old victim Martin Richard wrote on a school sign last year: "No more hurting people" and drew on his blue poster, "Peace" - may our 99% honor him by following his lead.

May Peace be with each of you. It may have been an ugly week, but it's still a beautiful world. Ride on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqklKLxrvAo&feature=youtu.be

Training Ride #4 - Hare in the Rain

Today was leg 2 in my double-decker training weekend. When I arrived at the Coweta County Fairgrounds, the base for the ride, there was no sight of anyone. I was my usual 30 minutes before ride time and usually I'm trying to dodge cyclists and trying to find one more blade of grass to squeeze my car into. I pulled into the parking area and after a few minutes, a guy knocked on my window and said "Did we miss something? Where is everybody?"

We finally saw a few people and they pointed us to the registration desk. I asked "Are we having the ride today?" This sweet, jovial lady replied "Oh yes, we're SO glad you're here!" I asked "How many riders are you expecting?" She said "No idea! Only 10 pre-registered but we're SO glad you're here!" Ten ri ders? My mind automatically thinks - great - no support, no one to talk to. Then I did my last check on the weather and learned that the weather experts decided sometime between 11pm last night and 8 am this morning that no, it would not be sunny and 60 in the morning with rain starting at 4pm. The rain would start in 2 hours and there would be no sun. Well, I believed them LAST night - so here I am totally unprepared for rain. No jacket. I'm so thrilled at this point. So I go to plan B. Instead of riding 60 miles, I will ride as fast as I can for 30 miles and try to beat the rain. Memories of freezing in California's rain-out day last summer are bouncing around in my head.

I take off. I'm pedaling as fast as my short, squatty legs will spin - paying special attention to my shifting and getting the big head. Wow - I can go fast when I want to. Good-bye Tortoise, Hello Hare. I clip along pretty well and then, while climbing a hill a cute little bunny rabbit hops by me like I'm nothing. I could almost hear her saying "Me Hare, You Tortoise, Heee, Heee, Heee" as she bounced back into the bushes.

I then started thinking about how desolate I was. I mean, there was no one now. The one guy ahead of me turned onto the 60 mile split, so it was just me. I started wondering if this was safe. I starting feeling REALLY alone. So to counter this, I started thinking of yesterday's song, "Never Alone" even if I was sarcastically thinking "yeah, whatever."

I got back to home base, covering the 30 miles and arriving at 10:15. The drizzle was just starting and I was safe. I walked towards the registration to thank them for having the ride and saw 5 men at a table - with a route map on a bulletin board, a computer and hand radios going. They had been tracking us - me - the whole time. I really was "never alone" even if I thought I was. So if you think I skipped church to ride my bike today -- no, I didn't.

For anyone else having a "yeah, whatever" day, I hope this weekend's theme song will give you a boost . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhZh-Riia0Y

Training Ride #3 - A Day with Heroes

This is my first double-decker weekend on the training trail as I planned to ride the Tony Serrano today in Monroe and the BMBA Ride for the River in Newnan tomorrow. The mileage is about 60 in each ride, so great training for what's ahead.

As I rode today - two things drummed away on my heart: Heroes and the song "Never Alone." I'll share a bit about both.

First, the ride today was in honor of Tony Serrano, an avid athlete who was struck by a car and killed  while on his bike in August 2004. I learned by reading his bio that he was more than "just a cyclist" as he was an incredible person who accomplished much to make the world better in his short 35 years of life. You may say, "Well, I never heard of him." And that's my point. The bio showed how he was the world to his friends and family and he obviously made the world better.

Second, I was passing a guy in a hand cycle with a Shepherd's Center jersey on. He had no legs but he was ripping the road with his upper body strength. As I struck a conversation with him, I learned that he is training for a race on May 4th in Alpharetta. Last weekend, he trained on the GA mountains. Such a friendly, outgoing and wonderful soul he had and I had the honor of meeting him today. His picture is now a permanent image in my brain bucket for "heroes met on the road."

Third, I know lots of heroes now that I didn't know a year ago. I was briefly able to chat with 3 awesome guys who fall in that category today - Ken, Leon and Frank (who I call "Cutie" because he is!). I also had the honor of riding with my friend and colleague, Stephen, for the first 30 miles. All four of them have fought longer and harder than me for an AIDS vaccine. I'm always humbled when I'm with them. Again, they are the world to me. They are also in my brain bucket for "heroes met." And then - while being passed today, 2 guys paused and commented on my AIDS LifeCycle jersey because they ride in it also. They work for Deloitte, a large accounting firm, but I refrained from talking about new accounting rules while we rode - which required a lot of restraint on my part.

Today was also a lot of firsts for me. I was given a big hug at the registration area by new new cycling coach, Robert Wilhite (myCyclingCoach.com), rode with a new hard as a rock saddle which was wonderful (trust me, you don't want a goose down soft saddle after mile 20!), used my new Infinite Nutrition drink for the entire ride (my magic potion now), rode without a CamelBak (LOVED it!), and found that my car was not one of the last in the parking lot after the ride (double LOVED it!!)

Although my work week was challenging, I ended up on the road with Jamie and being reminded of how important family, friends and colleagues are in the journey. Every one reading this is a hero to at least one person - so I hope you know who sees you that way and that you will also make sure someone knows they are a hero to you.

And perhaps most importantly today and every day - remember you are never alone.

If you are reading this, I hope you will feel a big hug from me - right about now. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnNK4Alwbsw 

Blazing Helmet Campaign

Here we are - 40 days until I turn 48 years old, 41 days until the AIDS Vaccine 200, 56 days until the AIDS LifeCycle Ride and 136 days until Charity Treks - but I'm not obsessive about numbers or anything. Also, remember that weight loss goal from earlier in the year? Well, that ain't happening. Training has been more challenging this year than last - not sure what that's about either but I'm fortunate to be stubborn and keep on pedaling and stair-climbing and weight lifting and spinning and rowing and on and on.

So I need a mental jump start - kind of like a battery boost if you've ever helped (or watched if you are like me) a friend connect cables from your car battery to theirs and suddenly their car moves from still to roaring down the road. I want to start my decorating plans for the ride.

Yes, my helmet needs to be fashionably noticeable this year.

What do I need from you? I need a first name or initial or name you make up to represent someone you know who is HIV positive, has AIDS or that we lost to AIDS. Can you load me up and jump start my battery in my "blazing helmet" campaign? Since I'll be 48 years old when I start these rides, my goal is to have 48 blazes.

Please, please - light up my helmet with some responses!

Hope that Overcomes

Training Ride (Sort of) #2 - Arabia Mountain Mountain Trail

Today was special because part of the gang was back together and on the road again today. We were missing some pals, though (hint, hint). The mileage was short - only about 22 miles - but there's always fun when this group gets together. My friends, Todd and Stephen, share my passion for making AIDS a part of history. Todd is planning to ride the AIDS LifeCycle (545 miles in CA with me) if he can hit his minimum fundraising target. Selfishly, I don't want to ride by myself again so please help him out!! Stephen is a big part of the AIDS Vaccine 200 and hopes to ride Charity Treks with me this year. They are awesome guys.

It's been one of those crazy weeks with a quick trip to LA, a long trip to the GA tag office, Good Friday services and all the media and energy around a Supreme Court case. Most of my friends know that I gave up church for Lent this year but yet I couldn't pass up two of the most reflective days for me as I experience my faith - Palm Sunday and Good Friday. They represent, for me, the realities of life and faith and the cycle of being. While in LA, a colleague said she believed that, "in the end everything will be good - so if thing's aren't good, that means it's not the end yet." In some ways, this is the Easter story. During this week, we experience the images of human cruelty at its worst but tomorrow we will be reminded of Hope that overcomes.

Today, however, was a day of being reminded of the gifts of friendship. The chance to say "whatever" (what is said on the bike trail stays on the bike trail) and laugh at ourselves and life in general is priceless. The chance to meet other riders, to see Yorkies and Shorkies dragging their humans behind, to soak in the sunshine, and to breathe in the fresh air make it even more special.

Cheers, Friends, and Happy Easter and Happy Passover! May you live in the hope and be liberated from whatever binds you.

Safe Places

For the last 3 weeks, I have been participating in a course about AIDS offered through Coursera and taught by Emory professors. As usual, and I admit I'm a tad biased, I am amazed by the quality of the teaching. We're completing a week of lectures on "Behavioral Prevention" and our primary professor shared a personal story about a friend of hers who died of AIDS a few years ago. He grew up in a small town in Georgia and returned home to tell his parents about his HIV diagnosis. Through their panic, they kicked him out of the house, told him never to return and then actually told others in their town that he had been killed in a car accident. They even had a funeral for him - but he was alive. He continued to love them and hid out in Atlanta - afraid that someone from his small home town would discover he was still alive and humiliate his family (who "killed" him off).

The story was not shared to remind us about how awful people can be. The story was part of a lecture on how we can help deal with behavioral prevention. Part of being able to help starts with understanding how "in control" the person is with the outcomes of their behavior - such as talking about their diagnosis. The story reminds us that not everyone is in control of these situations. Simply a good reminder to be willing to offer support and a safe place for others as they need it in their battle with HIV.