The HIV Minister

" . . . I say he died from shame and stigma."

Part of the reason we need AIDS walks and AIDS rides is because every conversation we have with those who witness us will chip a little more of the stigma away. Everyone still has to make a decision of which side of stigma they choose to be on - but as walkers, riders and volunteers - we gently say that we choose to be on the side of love. With every pedal turn, we say that no one should die from shame and stigma. No one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPLslFRaX1w

Are You Human?

It's kind of hard to believe that 30 years ago, I was so into politics. I even considered a political career, which is hard to imagine today. It is very likely that 20 years ago this month, I watched and heard this speech given by Mary Fisher to the Republican Convention - but if so, I had forgotten it. Or - maybe a seed was planted at that time that just recently received the nutrients of love and encouragement needed to really hear it. Whatever the case and irrespective of our political positions, these words need to be heard today.

In the words of Mary Fisher: The AIDS virus "does not care whether you are Democrat or Republican. It does not ask whether you are black or white, male or female, gay or straight, young or old... HIV asks only one thing of those it attacks: Are you human?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPamnaEIjs&feature=related

Why I Ride - A Reminder

Belva,

I would like to thank you for the beautiful song you sent the group this morning. I was very touched and felt well accepted. I want to thank you for so many things, but most of all for hearing a call that is coming from deep down inside of you to help those who are without hope. When you ride, you are a beacon of hope, which lets us know a cure is coming. You know people with HIV/AIDS and there are people you haven't met yet. Regardless, you ride with conviction and it is truly inspiring. You are my hero. All of you that ride are my heroes.

Before I moved to Georgia, I lived in Arizona, and to find assistance for my meds was disheartening. I applied for the ADAP program, which will allow you to receive HIVmeds free, but I was turned down every time I applied. My counts started pl

ummeting, but just like you Belva, I kept showing up. I refused to let people determine that I was a nobody and my life was not worth it. I knew I was worth it, so I kept showing up. I lasted 3 years before they decided I wasn't going anywhere quick, so they gave me meds. When they finally decided to give me the meds, my counts were 10. Thank God, I have never suffered a heart attack or stroke. After the medicine began to work, and my counts started moving up, I moved to Georgia shortly after that, and for me, there was no waiting period. I am happy to say I am way above normal counts and finally living. I have been so inspired by everyone that rides, I have purchased a Fuji Newest 4.0 Road Bike, and I have lost 5 lbs since I have started riding it. My goal is to be 170lbs, or lower, by the time I ride next year in the AV200!

I want to give you a song from my Mexican heritage. We sing this song to each other on our birthdays, but we also use it for anniversaries, funerals, or to congratulate someone on an accomplishment. This song is for you, Belva, and the many others who have ridden their bikes to help us find a cure. You have accomplished a lot this year, and I hope you know how special you are to everyone. Every time we read your blog on where you were on biking, we felt like we were hearing it on the radio in the 1930's. We were anxiously waiting every update, and we celebrated when you crossed the finish line. Y'all are amazing. The song is called " Las Mañanitas" and I found one with the English lyrics on it as well. Thank you for all you do for everyone, Belva. I will write more later.

Ray
http://youtu.be/BL_cDdLwV9c
Ray

Fling the Church Doors Open

One of the sadder parts of my journey has been the realization of how much the Church has hurt so many by creating a perception that some people are outcasts and are not welcome unless they change. I have seen the looks of concern from some as I sported my Saint Mark team jersey. On the days I wear it, I purposefully try to be extra kind, because I realize I have a different role on those days. The link below is a beautiful song - please ignore the article as I don't want politics to get into this site. This site is about love and welcoming - not about politics. This song is for all of the people who have given up on Church. My plea - please don't.

"O, may our hearts and minds be opened,

fling the church doors open wide.
May there be room enough for everyone inside.
For in God there is a welcome,
in God we all belong;
may that welcome be our song."

http://www.advocate.com/politics/religion/2012/08/17/watch-church-sends-message-acceptance-minnesota-through-song

Angels on the Journey

I'm back home in Decatur tonight. I'm tired, sore and filled with mixed emotions. As most of you know, we hit the 1,000 miles for AIDS goal on Thursday as I rode with Charity Treks riders supporting AIDS vaccine research at Emory and UCLA. After I hit the 1,000 mile mark, a few riders asked me if I was going to SAG (basically, ride in a car) the rest of the way to Portland. I said, "No, because we don't have a vaccine yet." But perhaps it is important to pause and reflect on this journey together and where we go next.

The miles have been full of angels. I won't repeat the stories of the AV200 or AIDS LifeCycle since you've already heard those. This last leg from Burlington, Vermont to Portland, Maine was full of angels, too. On Thursday, the day of the 1,000

milestone, 3 riders waited for me to reach the 71+ mile mark and took the picture Stephen posted. At the next rest stop, a large group of riders stood and clapped as I approached. I was overwhelmed. For them to stop their journey to celebrate mine was so touching and I realized - we're all on different but yet the same journey. We're all angels to each other whether we realize it or not. I felt very loved and yet didn't even know some of their names.

In terms of what's next, I will keep pedaling and sharing stories. I hope more of you will give me a story to share as the more we talk about HIV/AIDS, the easier we will make it for others.

It is really important to me that the celebrations of this milestone not lose focus on the true heroes - the caregivers, those with HIV/AIDS, the doctors who care for HIV/AIDS patients, the researchers, and the people you know who aren't afraid to hug a person with HIV/AIDS. So if you'd really like to honor this milestone, send a note or make a phone call to one of those people you know and encourage them. THAT makes every mile worth it to me!

Thanks to my heroes . . . you are so special and you inspire me.

Charity Treks 2012 - Day 2

Today's ride was more challenging with 98 miles and some climbs that made me say bad words. So we are now at 869 miles in this journey. THAT makes me say Woo-Hoo!

We have a couple of mascots with us this week. One is Daisy, who you see in the pic looking through the back window of a crew truck. Daisy has 3 legs and is a sweetheart. Essie is a white lab who is always looking for food. Today at lunch we noticed she was missing. She was happily checking out a greenhouse 20 feet away.

The other picture is from Green Mountain which is where a lot of our riding was today. I doubt the picture gives it justice but maybe you'll get an idea.

Some of you may wonder what in the world I think about while I'm on the bike for all the hours. So here's a few examples:
- I completed my research study on the smell of cow manure in Vermont vs Georgia. I hate to say this, but the Vermont cows have a much more agreeable smell
- After going through a couple of rest-stops without restroom facilities, I came to appreciate the AIDS LifeCycle porta-potties much more. This led to me noticing the many interesting places where porta-potties can be found in Vermont. I'm thinking my next FB page will be a place we can post pictures of porta-potties in odd locations.
- I thought about how interesting some multi-use churches were. A few double as city hall and church.

I also get plenty of time for thing of the reasons for the ride and for my 14 honorees. My discomfort is nothing compared to theirs.

Tomorrow's another day! Hope everyone back home enjoys a good one!

Until a cure . . .

Charity Treks 2012 - Day 1

Day 1 was long but not a killer. Your good vibes must have kept my legs going so send more tomorrow. Today's mileage was 110.4 so that brings us to 770.6 on the journey. I think tomorrow is another 100 miles.

Thanks for your support - it's Advil time!!

Love you all,
Belva

New England Arrival

Day 0 is on! I put Jamie back together but had to make a trip to the bike doctors as she couldn't change gears - the dreaded but common bent derailleur issue. Luckily, the bike shop was able to fix it and she's ready to go.

Our ride jerseys are awesome - on the back it says "Ride Because - Zambia, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Botswana, Lesotho, South Africa and Swaziland". It's a good reminder of the global reach that Team Saint Mark is supporting via an AIDS vaccine.

The other jersey is a Burlington reminder with a cool barn. And check out my new socks!! As my friends know, I always try to find cool socks so the shark and fin fits me perfectly.

The group, like the AV200 and the ALC rides, wants to be part of a family. They call this their August family. I'm glad to be a part of it and hope some of my Saint Mark family will join next year. There's no doubt that this cause is one that really creates an emotional bond and the researchers we are trying to help feel that as well.

Off we go! The odometer starts at 660.2 miles!

Just Show UP

In one more week, I will fly to Burlington, VT to start the last leg of my 2012 journey for AIDS. It's hard to believe it's finally time and I'm looking forward to having a week to cycle through the beautiful New England states. The group will be much smaller than in California - maybe 80 compared to 2,250 riders, but the impact will still be there. I look forward to meeting new friends who share my passion for finding an AIDS vaccine. But the realist in me recognizes that my conditioning is nowhere near where it was when I left for California and I'm going to have to manage that in order to make it 415 miles.

Last week, I wrote about caregivers - those brave and loving souls who take those long journeys through both darkness and light - simply because they truly care an

d love someone. Some of you have been in that role and some of you, like me, may wonder how you'd do if ever faced with that challenge. One priceless piece of advice I have been taught by Carol is to "just show up" and I have grown to realize how important that is.

Last week was a difficult week. On Wednesday morning, I received an email from one of my favorite colleagues saying he was leaving Emory because he has been given 18-20 months to live. I have watched the beautiful witness of Troy Evans take care of his dying and our beloved Saint Mark family member, Carlos Dixon, walk that final hospice journey. On Friday evening, I learned another friend has stage 3 cancer. This week I have gasped for air, felt tears and gotten totally ticked off from witnessing all this.

I'm not ready for any of this. My body is not really ready to ride 415 miles. My heart is not ready to watch 2 friends take the final journey on earth. My head is not willing to accept yet that I have a good friend with stage 3 cancer and now fighting to live. But there's one part of me - my spirit - that I can always count on. In that space, I'm not alone. I am connected to you - who have and will encourage me. I'm connected to my God who loves me no matter what. And from my faith, I'm connected with the "Communion of Saints" of those who have already moved on from earth - Samuel, Clay, Scott, Mike, Ben, Marcus, Rob, Ron, Tim, David, Davin, Marc, Stan, Rod, Gray, Rick, Forrey, Dr Franke. 

So while there's a part of me that would like to run away from all of this, there's a bigger part of me that says "Just show up." And I will. Whatever it is that you may be dealing with today - I hope you will, too.

Off to pack!