Never, Ever Give Up

On Friday night, I journeyed to East Coweta High School, where my high school basketball coach, Paula Jones, is celebrating her retirement. What a career she has had and what an influence she has made on the lives of many young girls - including me over 30 years ago. From her I learned to never, ever give up - regardless of how things look. I learned that sometimes that means leaning on others - teammates, friends, family, doctors, teachers, etc etc. I learned that sometimes that means you do the same for others so that they never, ever give up. I learned that you do your part and let others do their part - and together, you will win - or sometimes simply survive the day until things look differently. I learned that you have to focus on your goals and you have to expect the best and assume the best from yourself and everyone around you. These life lessons went with our little group of 10 onto the basketball courts back then. We didn't lose much - probably no more than the fingers on one hand during the 3 years I played for her. I think it's safe to say we still don't like to lose today. I know I don't.

All of these life lessons learned from Paula still drive me. As I shared the number of hours I spend in the saddle during an average day/week for the AIDS rides, my new cycling coach said something like - "you must have incredible mental focus." I replied, "Yep." I also thought - I have a reason. I'm fighting a battle I do NOT want to lose. I want stigma to be squashed. I want an AIDS vaccine to be developed. I want lives to be saved. I want dignity for everyone. I want children to have parents. I want AIDS to lose.

Seeing Paula and her interaction with her current players during Friday night's game reminded me of the importance of having good advisers and teammates. In last year's AV200, it was teammate Susan who helped me reach the finish line by helping me focus on reaching the next rest stop instead of the end - and her words went to California and New England as well. It was Todd  who kept us laughing. It was Chip who kept the riders safe. It was Carol who cheered us along in her car. It was Julie and Deborah who kept us energized. It was Sean who amazed us by doing his first century as a double century. It was Stephen with his constant, steady encouragement, drive and humor who always seemed to know just when another rider needed him and what they needed. There were the special people, like many of you, who supported the ride with your financial gifts - the dollars that will go to work to make AIDS lose. It is funding the researchers need - and there's no way I can write a check big enough. Your support for my rides helps me on that end. We are all a team and I don't want us to lose.

So, in the drive of corporation Chevron with the slogan "AIDS is going to lose" and the "never, ever give up" life lessons from Paula, and with the support of each of you - I will enter Month 2 of training with an even deeper conviction:

AIDS, we are going to beat you.

Still a Long Ways to Go

Why is it important to keep talking, to keep riding, to keep funding and to keep supporting the cause? Here's a portion from the words of an AIDS LifeCycle writer. We still have a LONG ways to go!!

From "The Ribbon On His Shoulder: Perceptions on AIDS in America Today"
By: Dale Cooper

"More than 30 years into the epidemic, one-third of Americans (34%) still harbor at least one misconception about HIV transmission:

- 1 in 4 people do not know that HIV cannot be transmitted through sharing a drinking glass.
- 16% of people think touching a toilet seat can spread HIV.
- 12% of people think swimming in a pool with someone who is HIV positive could infect them with the virus.

All those perceptions are remnants of an AIDS stigma, spurred by misinformation and phobia, that continue to exert a powerful sway over the American public. People who harbor these misconceptions about HIV transmission are more likely to say they would be uncomfortable working with someone with HIV: 43%, compared with 13% of those who know that HIV cannot be transmitted in these ways.

Additionally:
- Almost half (47%) do not know that a pregnant woman with HIV can take drugs to reduce the risk of her baby being born infected.
- About one in five (19%) are unaware that there is no cure for AIDS.
- 12% do not know that there are drug treatment options that can lengthen the lives of people with HIV.
- About a quarter mistakenly believe (or are unsure whether) Magic Johnson has been cured of AIDS (27%).
- 1 in 10 believe that there is currently a vaccine available to keep people from becoming infected."

Source for statistics:
Kaiser Family Foundation, "2011 Survey of Americans on HIV/AIDS: Summary of Findings on the Domestic Epidemic." Published April 2011.

To read the full story: http://experience.aidslifecycle.org/story/dale-cooper/ribbon-his-shoulder-perceptions-aids-america-today

I Care Because . . .

This has been a fun week of training with a few scheduled set-backs from more gum surgery. A few things I learned last year: (1) don't carry more up the hills than you really need. Thus, my weight loss is now at 3.6 pounds. (2) after the first 45 miles, you better have good strength training in your back pocket. Thus, I've upped the amount of weight training this year and work with my personal trainer once a week. (3) You better know why you care about this cause to meet the endurance requirements on the mind.

I described in my AV200 rider spotlight that I do these rides because: First, I believe that an AIDS vaccine is the only way to truly end this epidemic. Second, I believe that I am called to care for people currently dealing with the challenges HIV/AIDS and I personally love and know many of them. Third, I believe that stigma is flat-out wrong. Fourth, the stories of HIV/AIDS victims move me and I want the world to know how special they are/were.

I was struck by the picture below (found somewhere on the web) and wondered how you would answer this question. If you were standing along the ride route cheering on the riders (which you are by reading this!), what would your sign say? Give me some images to take into my training . . . I'd love to hear why you care about this cause. And yes, if all you can come up with relates to spandex and colorful jerseys, I'll take it - but I bet we have more!!!

 

Giants - They Do Fall

Every once in a while, I hear a story about group courage that amazes me. This is one. You may ask, "why does this belong in a blog focused on AIDS?" Well, to me, the church has the potential to be a healing force in the war on AIDS. In fighting stigma, when a church steps out and says "we will love you no matter what", we should find that more people have the courage to be tested and that HIV medications are worth taking. Churches can form a community and another source of connection - which, in turn, encourages many to take care of themselves because they feel valued. Churches can also do the opposite and unfortunately have from the many stories I have heard from people in my journey. There is a growing number of reconciling communities in the Methodist church (my Saint Mark is one) but when one arises from a conservative base and had to deal with a force of of hate from within, I consider them special and they have earned a place in my heart. While it is sad that being "loving" has to be hard, it is worth every step to get there. Congratulations and thank you, little Dunean UMC. You are very brave and will likely receive backlash now that the word is out. Be strong and remember: Giants. They do fall.

http://www.advocatesc.org/home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1156&Itemid=271

 

Charity Treks - Presentation to Emory Vaccine Center

What a special day and evening! A mini-reunion with some of my Charity Treks family members Chris, John, Jonathan, Quinton and Mark started out with a check presentation to the Emory Vaccine Center. We toured the Vaccine Center and chatted with scientists about their work, their challenges and their hopes. I'm so thankful our cycling miles resulting in a boost of funds for them. Afterwards, Carol joined us at Rosebud for dinner. This group is so easy to be with and I'm so proud to be associated with them and accepted by this awesome family of riders sharing a dream to end AIDS. It sounds like Carol will be joining us on the Charity Treks ride in August as a ride supporter and she'll be a terrific inspiration and source of fun. For all of you who follow our miles and share your resources to support this dream - this is your family, too. Thank you, everyone!!

Making a Plan

Making a plan . . . 138 days to the AV200 and 154 days to the AIDS LifeCycle. And 35 pounds I don't want to drag up a mountain - uuggghhh. Let's see - 19 weeks would be about 1.8 pounds per week I need to shed. 3500 cal per pound - so I need to have about 6450 calorie savings per week - either burned or not eaten. I hope I got this right.

So - will someone please hide the Girl Scout cookies from me this year?!

 

REAL Hugs

I was watching Entertainment Tonight earlier and a segment about the Best Buddies ride in California caught my attention. Initially, the interview with Maria Shriver made me look up from my computer (the first miracle of the night per Carol). The cyclists on the Pacific Coast Highway brought back wonderful memories from last June and my heart rate jumped up a few notches. The biggest eye-catcher, however, was the scene of the finish line as the cyclists were met with intellectually and developmentally challenged children and adults with open arms.

I know those hugs. I felt them as a volunteer for Special Olympics years ago. Now before you give me accolades for such wonderful volunteer work, let me give you the facts. First of all, I was scared to death of the athletes. They were different and I had never been around anyone like them. Secondly, I was assigned the job of hugging the athletes as they crossed the finish line, walked to the water line, walked towards the award stage or wherever there was an opportunity to hug them. While this might sound like a great job, I was down-right terrified. You see, I didn’t grow up in a “huggy” environment. Love was never a question – but hugs were not a common practice. So there I was – assigned the role of hugging people and feeling the cold sweat of nervousness. Little did I know that these beautiful athletes would teach me how to “really” hug – not the cold, quick, barely touch someone hug – but a real hug. After my first hug, I fell in love with them and realized they weren’t scary at all. After the hundredth or so hug (if you’ve ever been to the Special Olympics, you know what I mean), I had officially mastered how to hug. They taught me two of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my life – just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re scary and hugs can make you so happy.

On the infamous Day 2 of the 2011 AIDS LifeCycle – yes, the freezing rain day – I was huddled under the 3-foot roof overhang of a park building with a hundred other riders. I couldn’t stop shivering and couldn’t complete a sentence because my mouth wouldn’t work right from my teeth chattering. A guy next to me put his arms around me and said “cuddle up with me and see if that helps.” His big hug warmed me and helped me not shiver so much. I have no idea who he was but I sure love that guy!

As I think about so many of the stories I’ve heard from HIV positive men and women over the last year, way too often I have heard about the darkest side of stigma. The number of hugs that have been withheld are heart-breaking. Perhaps some of this is due to an anxiety similar to mine during my first Special Olympics encounter. If so, I pray the first hug can break through to change the ending of the stories I have heard. For so many, the biographies are still being written, so there is time. Medications can help the body and fight the progression to AIDS, but they can’t do what hugs can do. So if you know an HIV/AIDS friend, partner, acquaintance or family member – give them a hug – a REAL hug. It just might change your life.